School Supply Lists or Secret Torture Devices

Okay, so what’s up with the crazy list of school supplies that seems to be growing like an invasive fungus with each new school year? I know, I know, the PTO offers package deals to buy them in advance for a reasonable price, but my kids changed districts this year. So without any options for me, the insane school supply rat race began.

Target—a good starting point…so I thought.

The two kids and I entered with an empty shopping cart and smiles on our faces. I’d brought them to pick out their backpacks—mistake number one. Surely, we would be done in a couple minutes. There was only about 20-30 items on the two lists, right? I glanced down the folded paper in my hand, the words blurring on the page. Focus. I took a deep breath. First up was a plastic polypropylene envelope Velcro/snap. Umm…okay? I wasn’t sure what that was, but I had to start somewhere. So, up and down the aisles I went, shelf after shelf. Poly…poly…poly…

I glanced behind me. Great. Where’d my son go? After a small flutter of my heart, I could hear his squeaky voice coming from the next isle. Rounding the corner a bit quicker than I would have liked, I came upon the mecca of backpack heaven. Maybe, Luke was right. The other supplies should wait. Backpacks and lunchboxes first. Then, both kids could ogle over their choices while I flew through the rest of the list.

But, so many options. Of course, the backpack makers of America have figured that one out for me already. Easy, just attach a matchbox car to the backpack—done.

With R2D2 and some bright pink/purple lunchboxes in the basket, I was back to that polypropa… Who was I kidding? I had no idea on that one. Poly-whatever had the office store written all over it.

Next. Folders, notebooks—non-perforated. Wait, non-perforated? Really. I pawed through the mountainous bins of spiral craziness—all perforated. Perforated would have to do. I’d instruct my daughter not to flip through the pages too violently—done.

Pencil boxes—apparently, the sizes listed did not exist on planet earth. Another compromise.

Eight pack of fine tipped markers…ten pack available. Wondered which colors were extra?

200 count filler paper—of course, they came in 175 count packages. Was the school district in league with the paper manufacturers?

9X18 construction paper—I went with typo on that one, since it didn’t exist. Bought 12X18.

Ruler listed twice in a totally different way…should I have bought two? Went with another possible error.

I could go on and on, but I think you get my drift.

After ordering online, stopping by Micheals, Walmart, Staples, Office Depot, and the teacher store, I am down to four missing items. REALLY—four! What crazy mother would go to all this effort? Do the people who created this list sit down in a dungeon and dream up ways to torcher new parents. What school district have I enrolled my children in? And the cost—not sure I want to add that up.

Whew! Happy start to school. It’ll be PTO school supplies for me next year!

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